Research is risky

Research is a risky business: besides the incredibly competitive job landscape for those who want to stay in qualitative field. We are taught that we need to weave an argument. This is why we write lit reviews: to search for what has been done in the past, it is the invitation for the other scholars to back up my idea or reasoning. It is like standing in the academic town square and asking “Who’s with me?”

We write methods section where we articulate how we came to our data, what we plan (or did) with it to analyze, and once again, build a defense.

In the conclusion section, we cover our butts with our limitations. Least someone thinks we think too much of our work.

We are taught to match our language to the language of journals that we want to submit. The price of not heeding this advice is not being published, and without such records, you can not argue that you are the kind of researcher a University want to employ.

Credibility is conceptualized and performed in a systematic manner, that it is a part of the system. I need to play by the rules.

I never was comfortable living within social systems. I refuse to say I am somehow a different, creative thinker, that I march to my own drumbeat in that sexy, fashionable way that became the manifestation of creativity and a welcome to various degrees. My lack of fit has always been accompanied by feelings of inadequacy,  the urge to control my contributions out of fear of being laughed, to study and to observe what others are doing, beating myself up for the sincere outbursts of thoughts, checked de facto for appropriatness and further causing insecurity

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